It is now well over three years since I have come into the life of your sons. I have stood by the sidelines and held my tongue and my reaction to disturbing events as I felt it was in the best interest of all the parties involved. I consider myself an independent thinker, confident and well balanced woman. I have always tried to live my life with positive thoughts and interactions with those that are in my life. There were times in my life that I had friends or relationships which I realized were a negative force in my life and I had to learn that I had the conscious choice on who I allowed in my life. In those situations, I had to end interaction with those negative forces.  Unfortunately, I am unable to remove myself from interaction with you because I have fallen in love and committed myself in a partnership with your X husband and helping to raise both of your boys.
There is so much I want to say so in writing this, I hope I can finally find some release for my pent up frustrations and anger towards you.  I struggle regularly not to allow myself to feel such anger and resentment with you and how you treat your ex husband, boys and me. I strive to find compassion and empathy for you and not to succumb to my ego. Unfortunately, I am a woman that does not like or allow people to mistreat me or the ones I love.  It’s hard for me to sit on the sidelines and not speak up.  So here it goes:
I think you are an embarrassment to the female race. You are emotionally immature, consumed by anger, bitterness and jealousy and you have absolutely no idea how damaging your tactics are with your two sons and ex-husband.  You are manipulative and emotionally retarded.
When I met my husband, you were nowhere around.  You had already divorced him.  You have always treated me like I’m the “other woman” but I had nothing to do with your and his separation.  I would never start a relationship with a man in a relationship.  I did not even meet my husband until after he was living elsewhere and the separation was final.
Ever since you found out about me, you have been jealous, manipulative, evil, and just downright ugly.  I did nothing to you to cause any of it besides marry the man you did not want.   I had hoped we would get along for the sake of your boys, but you refuse to consider it.  I am not a home wrecker.  You did that all by yourself.  So just stop.  Stop with the manipulation.  Stop using your children as a pawn.  Stop trying to play the victim role.  Stop acting like you have a right to be disrespectful and constantly accuse us of outlandish lies. Stop using my husband and I as your need for drama in your life.  I used to respect you as my stepsons’ mother, but the crazier you act, and the more lies you tell, the more I lose respect.  I never say evil things about you in front of your boys but I know you have said some about me.  That is downright ugly.
For the first year, I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you were still dealing with anger and hurt and disappointment because your relationship failed.  I understood that you would need time to come to terms that your life as you knew it with your ex husband was no longer to be. When you made me the laughingstock and spread outlandish downright lies about me, I felt empathy for you.  When you expressed to your boys how your ex boyfriend (or roommate as you called him)  had sexually molested you as you were sleeping in his home, and you told your boys about it and promised them they would never have to see him again, I was crushed and crying inside when your boys were sleeping at his home with him present the next couple days.
I have approached each of these situations refusing to allow you to see the turmoil in me and also refusing to allow you to affect me.I have witnessed you personally accuse your ex of not providing clothes for your boys, not putting them in social activities, claiming he does not provide for them financially, alleging he is trying to take your boys away from you, accusing him of not sharing information on medical and school, and accusing him of caring for my my kids over your boys, mental, physical, and emotional abuse.  The truth is none of this is an accurate depiction of the facts. There are so many fathers out there that have abandoned their children financially, physically, and emotionally. This is not the situation with your ex. He is the most compassionate, giving, patience man I know. He over provides for his boys, continues to try and collaboratively co parent with you, and tries to focus on positive interaction and the future.
I find that whenever you are depressed, stressed, or anxious over your own finances or home life, you use him as your venting bag.  It’s infuriating to see you attack him regularly. I am convinced that you have such low self esteem that you have to attack and make someone else miserable to make yourself feel better. I ask him all the time why does he allow you to talk with him like that. He says that’s why my marriage ended and I am so used to it that it’s not worth my energy to engage in it. I am often jealous of his ability to completely disengage and detach himself to your verbal abuse. I can only pray that one day you will eventually find God in your life. I can only pray that one day you will learn to love yourself enough and those in your life that you will begin to appreciate how blessed you really are.  At this point, I am not too confident that will ever actually happen but sometimes we just have to believe in hope.
 I hate to break it to you but despite the turmoil you create on a DALY basis, we very much love each other and the blended family we have created with our children. AND, the children very much love the family unit we have created. I have stood back and wittnessed your kids be subject to complete parent alination concerning their Dad. Its quite a councidence that when you and I spoke on a regular basis your kids thought I was wonderful, and you would even constantly tell me how happy you were I was in the boys life. When I told you that speaking to you in the detail I had been was not healthy for my husband and I's relationship, you completely flipped. Your kids immediately quit talking to me. When those boys grow up they are going to be able to look back and see what kind of father they truely have. They are going to look back and wonder why Mom imposed such emotional distress and coarced them into lies or inacurate depictions of the facts and tried on a daily basis to ruin their relationship with their father. The hardest thing out of all of this for me is the repercussions I see in your boys. No matter how I personally feel about you, I do believe your boys have a right to a positive and good relationship with their mother. The sad part is that you have absolutely no clue how much you are pushing your boys away from you.
I do not allow your boys to talk negatively about you.  I tell your boys that they have every right to feel angry or upset about the situation but I also tell them that you are their mother and they need to respect and love you. Although it’s hard to do, I strive to show themlove and to make their own decisions on what type of person they want to be.
Your Ex and I strongly believe in a positive and collaborative co-parenting relationship. We have worked harder than we have even on our own relationship to make this happen. I am so tired of your constant double standards. You accuse us of not sharing information with you but you refuse to do the same and many times we have to go to the school office directly to even get the report card of your boys. You accuse us of keeping medical information and claim we are going to arrange medical procedures without your permission but regularly you make appointments and actually do medical procedures with your sons without even discussing or notifying their father. 
We also have some knowledge of the negative comments you make about us and I can only imagine what they encounter on your custody time.   Unfortunately, it is so hard to prove this for the courts. It’s so hard to prove the mental deficits your parenting is creating in your boys. So we navigate and do the best we can around you. You are constantly berating my husband about what a poor father he is and how he needs to step up to the plate.  But what are you bringing to it?  My husband is laid off due to the economy. We have exhausted everything; and when I say everything, im not just talking money. Im talking physical and mental well being, emotional distress, and the psychological effects of loosing a child due to lies. Even though he is unemployed, we still see how important it is for the boys to be on an insurance plan. I put them on mine and now they also have dental and vision insurance.  He has continued to pay child support to you along with tens of thousands of dollers in arreareges, we continue to see to it that before our needs are met, our kids are happy.  This to me doesn’t sound like a man who doesn’t care or isn’t stepping up to the plate.  I have heard him get angry, and I have heard you scream and cuss him out. I don’t agree with this but I can see where his frustration with you overrides good sense.
My husband was out of the boy’s lives for some time due to situations where it was physically impossible for him to be there due to laws and your constant roadblocks. I’m here to say that right now, neither one of us are going anywhere and your in for a fight. Even if we die trying.
Sometimes, I find the boys and I have a deep connection and they remind me so much of myself at that age-low self esteem, lack of confidence or independence.  It took me years to carve out the type of woman I wanted to be and to learn to love myself and that it was up to me and not others to create who I was going to be in life. But I did it and perhaps now it is my time to give back and to teach someone else what I learned.   I tell myself that it is my role to give them another level of guidance and love as a human being- to show them and influence them on how they can be another type of man.  I am not sure how much influence I will have on them but I hope I can show them that they can be successful, that it is up to them on taking the high road or to be bitter, resentful, or see themselves as a victim.. I hope I can instill in them that above all else love prevails. Just love, just put positive love and energy out in the world to make it a better place. I believe wholeheartedly that it comes back to you tenfold.
In the end, your interactions with us are passive-aggressive tactics that are only hurting the most important persons in this situation, your sons. Several people ask why do I put up with all this constant drama, accusations, lies, and abuse. She wanted me to know that I still have choices in my life because she can’t even comprehend how I handle all this junk. I said to her that every marriage has a white elephant. Whether its addictions, or bad in-laws, infidelity, or spoiled children. But at the end of the day, I would have never married your ex-husband until I came to terms with what my life might involve. I told her that I look at relationships like a scale, if there is more good than bad then you stick it out. For all the crap that we deal with, really at the end of the day it’s only about 10% bad. He is the best father I could ever have for my daughter. We have many similar belief systems. He influences and teaches me things about myself all the time. Everyday, I am a better person for living this experience.  I would never trade that or any future experiences for anything in the world simply because of another woman. I would never let you take away someone good in my life-then you would win. I have learned that one must let go of their ego in the situation and love.  Keep the ones that you love and that love you close as ever and just live.